Being More Open

My guest blogger for today is

the

sexy

hilarious

blonde bombshell

herself

Mrs. Mootz.

She is one of my favorite daily reads.

She is my diamond in the rough

and

is pretty straight forward

and

blogs right to the point

she doesn't sugar coat things

to spear your feelings.

That among other things is why I love her so much.

We are tight like that.

Make sure you go

and

check out her blog

which by the way

she drew her own blog header.

I'm telling you...

this one has mad skillz.

Can I just tell you how excited I am to be here today?! I kinda have a little blog crush on Amber and Goodnight Moon, so this has got to be like making it to third base in blog-talk. Eeek! I sure hope I don’t let her down. I don't think my blog-soul could take that kind of heartbreak :)

I received an email from another one of my favorite bloggers the other day, Mrs. SSG from "Married to the Military". She emailed me about a recent post of mine and she said that she wished more people were more open and honest on their blogs (her statement was made in direct response to my post, but that was the general gist of the statement). Even Amber made the comment on the guest post of “Things I Can’t Say” that she wishes she could be more open on her own blog without worry of judgment from others.

Both of these women got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be awesome if all of us were more open on our blogs about who were really are? I know I tend to put a more Suzy Sunshine, “I’m so awesome and life is fantabulicious!” attitude in my blog. While I like to think I’m an optimistic person, there’s a lot more to me than what I put out there. I fear the judgment and the backlash, but I don’t want to be ashamed of who I am.

So I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you to me. The real me. The me that you would get to know in real life. The me that isn’t hidden behind a computer screen.

I’ll start simple…

I do not go by my first name. Many of you know me as “Nikki” but that is my middle name. It’s been that way my entire life. My mom named me knowing she would call me by my middle name. I used to hate it, but now I love it.

I’m considered obese by the medical world. I do know that I’m overweight, but I would never say I’m “obese.” I was ashamed the first time I realized that, but a size 14 to 16 is average and I think I look good a majority of the time. I try to watch what I eat, but when it comes to food I have little self control. I would rather live life a little overweight because I enjoy food rather than be a size 4 because I eat lettuce and diet pills.

I don’t think I’m innately funny. I have to work on being funny. I wish I was naturally funny.

I’m a Republican (mostly) through and through. I want the money I work for. I don’t want to give it to someone who “earns” it by sitting on their couch. If I’m rich and you’re poor, that’s really not my fault or problem. If scientific testing on my unused embryos will cure cancer or AIDS, test away. War sucks, but it’s a necessary evil.

I can be very selfish and there is always a good reason for my being selfish.

I don’t handle stupid or drunk people very well.

I’m pro-choice. That does NOT mean I’m pro-abortion. It means women should be able to make their own choices. It means I might not be here if abortion was not an option. It means I would probably never have an abortion, but I realize that every woman is not me.

I think the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is a good one. I understand that just because a man is gay does NOT mean he is attracted to every man (straight or gay). However, as a woman I don’t want a straight man (or a gay man for that matter) sharing my shower, my living quarters, even if he has zero interest in me and my body. However, I’m not against same sex marriage.

I laugh at some racist, sexist, religious, fat and blonde jokes. I don’t think that means I’m a racist or a bigot. I just think that means I’m human with a sense of humor.

I’m not politically correct. I think political correctness is ruining our country. I wish more people would remove the sticks from their a$$es.

I think the Duggars are freaks of nature. I think Kate Gosselin is a money and attention grubbing weirdo.

I love being a mom. Until the day I decided to get pregnant, I didn’t want kids. I love my son more than anything in the world. I would die for him. I would cut off my own leg with a nail file for him (although, I hope I never have to). About once a week, I need an overnight break from him.

I’m not sure I want to be a wife anymore. I think that I enjoy my husband more when he is on the other end of the phone conversation rather than in our own house, should tell me something. I think he’s an amazing father.

I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual. I have a relationship with God that is good enough for me. I respect everyone’s decision when it comes to religion because I think we’re all wrong.

I don’t understand people who say, “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget.” I think that if I forgive I have to forget. Otherwise, it will always be there, in the back of my mind and the resentment that comes from not forgetting will one day spill out and that means I have not forgiven.

I wish I enjoyed cleaning more and that I did it more. I wish I knew the right answers. I wish I enjoyed watching football more on TV. I wish I could have more self-control. I wish I still played tennis. I wish I had the time to audition for a play. I wish I budgeted my time more, so I didn’t have to wish I had more time. I wish I was less lazy. I wish the world for my son and I hope he knows every day of his life how amazing he really is.

Finally, despite what some might consider my shortcomings, I think I’m good person. Despite the bad things in my life, I don’t regret much. If people don’t like me because of who I am and what I feel and believe, I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t want them to change for me, so I’m not going to change for them.

*The opinions expressed in this post are the opinions of Mrs. Mootz from A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench and are in no way the beliefs or opinions of Amber of Goodnight Moon*